Unexpected triggers…
In my finding my identity post, I talked about little space. For me, little space is that “ewwy gooey” state where time seems to slow way down and I am fully regressed into my babyboy state-of-mind. This doesn’t happen frequently, so when it does happen I try to enjoy it the best I can.
Sometimes it’s hard for me to get into little space. Other times it’s not. For example, my wife and some of my close little friends know that if you just tell me “good boy” or “be a good boy” in the right situation, I will instantly melt.
That being said, if you’re just some stranger and tell me “good boy”, I will probably just look at you sideways. This is because, my little space mindset is a vulnerable place that my adult side only lets through when I’m around people I truly trust.
Over time, I have discovered most of my usual little space triggers and do my best to avoid them when circumstances require me to adult. However, there are still unexpected triggers that will come out of nowhere and my adult side uncontrollably melts away like ice cream in a blazing hot summer sun. One such occurrence happened a couple years ago.
A little dessert
My wife and I were enjoying a date night. We went to a new restaurant and this particular night we felt like sharing a dessert after the main course. We ordered the brownie ice cream sunday and didn’t give it another thought.
A few minutes later, the waitress set our sunday down at the table. Bam! An unexpected trigger. Now this was a “little” sunday. It arrived in the bed of a toy Tonka truck and the ice cream suddenly wasn’t the only thing at the table melting. I somehow managed to snap this picture before I was a babyboy puddle.
My first thought was pretty much, “ZOMG! Did this brownie sunday just arrive in the bed of a fricken Tonka trunk!?!?” My first instinct was to rip that truck off the table and run it around on the floor of the restaurant like a sugar fortified, truck crazed, toddler. I managed to simply devour the treat and save my wife some explanations to management.
Can’t you just visualize a 30-something me pushing around a truck in the middle of a crowded restaurant? Okay not something that would likely happen (that whole consent thing), but I had fun visualizing it.
Pulling up
It was really hard to pull out of that “ewwy gooey” little space nose dive. I had to focus on the fact that I was on a date with my wife. My adult side was on date, not babyboy Rex. That being said, I’m pretty sure my wife saw the near instant change in my eyes when the dessert arrived.
A few deep breaths and a brief break in conversation allowed me to pull up from the dive. While I recovered, my wife asked me several times, “Are you okay?” This one of those rare cases where I got ripped into little space with no warning.
This wasn’t my first unexpected trigger, but it was certainly one of the more powerful and sudden that I can recall. While it was difficult to recover from, I hope it’s not my last either. Sometimes these can be a fantastic reminder that you are you.
Does this ever happened to you? What do you do when this happens?
